RedsEscape

If sex is so fantastic why don’t we have it more often!

Who’s ever been too busy for sex?
Who’s ever been too tired for sex?
Who can’t remember when they last had sex?

It’s time now, to look at the “sexcuses” which get in the way of us enjoying regular sex. Let’s look at the top sexcuse. The Sexual TABOO! When I ask people who come for sex therapy, “What did your parents teach you about sex?” Can you guess what they say? They were taught nothing! Sex was TABOO! Some fathers even turned off the TV if there were people kissing! So let’s take away the taboo and have permission to have sex. (Just so long as it doesn’t hurt your spirit, mind, heart and body.)

It’s so easy for some people to make sexcuses!

For instance: One man complained that his partner was never ready for sex: If she hadn’t had a shower she was too dirty and if she had, she was too clean!

Here’s the most common sexcuses:

Taboo
No time
Too tired
Too tense
Can’t switch on/off
Bad technique
Too old
Children
Partner Problems

While it is true that children are not an aphrodisiac, it’s also true that you are never too old to think about or have sex. It’s sad that society thinks that old people should be finished with sex. I saw a lady who injured her back in a car accident and lost her ability to have an orgasm. When she complained about this to her lady doctor she was told “Oh well you are 50 now so you don’t need to enjoy sex”.

Now a common sexcuse is caused by Partner Problems! We need to be AWARE of MALE FEMALE DIFFERENCES. CAUTION – TIMING IS EVERYTHING! The truth is, women are happy to have sex if the timing is right

This point is especially crucial for guys to understand. Woman do love sex, but they need to share quality time first with their man, in order to want to have sex with him. For women, sex starts in the kitchen. This means she wants you to come talk to her about her day and her feelings FIRST.

The solution for sexcuses is to communicate and negotiate agreements.

If the brain is the most important sexual organ The tongue is the most important sexual tool! You’ve got to talk about sex – OUTSIDE the bedroom.

Dr Janet Hall is a Clinical Psychologist, Hypnotist, Author and Professional Speaker. She is the author of eight books on family and relationship issues including “Sex-Wise Teens” and “Sex-life Solutions”. She founded the Richmond Hill Psychology Clinic. http://www.drjanethall.com.au

Dr Jan featured regularly on the television program “Sex Life” as their female sex therapist/advisor. Her 19 mps in the Sensational Sex Series frankly and informatively discuss sexual issues ranging from sex therapy using hypnosis, to advice on creating and sharing sexual fantasies, and strategies for sparking up your sex-life. http://www.sex-therapy.com.au

Uncle Sam gives the best wedding presents. A Simon Pearce vase is divine, but it pales in comparison with the married filing jointly tax rates and unlimited marital estate tax deduction.

Regrettably, even though they embody the same levels of love and commitment, same-sex couples do not receive these gifts from Uncle Sam.

Financial planning for same-sex couples is rife with difficulties. Few states provide rights to same-sex couples, and among those that do, the rights are not uniform. (See below.) The federal government currently denies all marriage rights to same-sex couples, though that may soon change. Because of numerous gray areas, all such couples need financial planning, especially if they have children. Plans must make the couple’s intentions very clear in the event they are contested. They should also be revisited often to stay current with legislation.

Given the complicated variation among states, moving or traveling can be especially treacherous. If you do not live in the state where you were married or if you plan to travel extensively out of state, some key planning moves can ensure that your relationship and intentions are respected.

Generally, hospitals allow visitation rights to spouses and other family members. If the state does not recognize your relationship, your partner is not considered a family member. He or she may therefore be denied visitation rights and the ability to make medical decisions on your behalf.

To prevent this situation, execute a power of attorney, which permits your partner to act as your agent in both health and financial matters. Although it can be inconvenient, you should carry a copy when you travel. Do not assume that the arrangement will be respected in other states, particularly if it differs significantly from that state’s power of attorney forms; however, such documentation should help the healthy partner present his case to hospital staff.

States that allow same-sex marriages or that provide an equivalent often have intestate rights for surviving partners. These allow for a portion, if not all, of the deceased partner’s property to pass to the surviving partner, even if the deceased did not execute a will. However, a state that does not recognize the relationship will not have these rights. If you die without a will in one of these states, your partner will not be provided for from your estate. Your property will instead pass to your biological family based on the state’s laws.

The first defense against this is to have a will that provides for your partner and your children. Make sure your family members are aware of how you would like your property to be distributed after your death to avoid surprises and potential will contests. You may want to include positive statements as to why you choose to leave property to your partner instead of your biological family.

You can also dispose of assets outside of your will, where possible. Retirement accounts, life insurance policies and trusts pass to their beneficiaries outside of the probate courts. Titling property as jointly owned with rights of survivorship will permit the surviving partner to inherit the jointly owned property.

Your will should also make clear your intent regarding burial arrangements and that your partner should be granted possession of your remains upon your death. Typically, the deceased’s remains are given to the next of kin. If a same-sex relationship is not recognized, the surviving partner will not be deemed a family member. He or she will not be granted authority over the body and its disposition. Historically, courts have respected the deceased’s intent and therefore it is important to have support for your last wishes.

States permitting same-sex unions will usually permit non-biological parents to sign a child’s birth certificate as a parent. However, this does not necessarily provide full parental rights, especially in states where the relationship is not recognized. Adoption by the non-biological parent is a potential solution. This is particularly important in the case of a medical emergency and intestacy. Without adoption, the non-biological parent might be denied the right to make medical decisions for his or her child or to visit the child in the hospital. Should the biological parent die intestate, the non-biological parent may not be granted custody by the state. Furthermore, if the non-biological parent dies intestate, the child might not be eligible to inherit from him or her.

When executing estate-planning documents, same-sex couples have less room for error than heterosexual couples. You do not want the legitimacy of the documents to be challenged. If they are overturned, the state’s laws are unlikely to create your desired outcome. Therefore, choose a financial planner and attorney team that is familiar with the laws regarding same-sex couples. Also, your documents and plans should be reviewed often to stay current in the highly dynamic legal environment.

Divorce is difficult for any couple, regardless of sexual orientation, but it is even more so for same-sex couples. A married same-sex couple may not be able to divorce if they reside in a state that does not recognize their marriage. Furthermore, states that do recognize same-sex partnership typically have residency requirements for divorce. You can get married while on vacation in Massachusetts, but the reverse cannot be done.

In states where same-sex relationships are not respected, the split is more like dividing a business than a family. A stay-at-home partner’s contributions to the family unit might not receive the same weight when dividing assets. As unsavory as it is, it is important to plan for potential divorce. Pre- and post-nuptial agreements can make the process less painful and allow the partners to move on with their lives more quickly.

The rights of marriage dissolve with divorce, but special planning arrangements do not. In the event of a separation, same-sex partners will need to undo the extra measures they have put in place. This includes making new wills, naming new beneficiaries on retirement plans and insurance policies, and revoking health care proxies and powers of attorney. Adoption of children is permanent, and the partners will need to reach some sort of custody agreement.

With the repeal of the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy and the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act in question, the federal government’s anti-same-sex marriage stance appears to be weakening. This may encourage coordination of state laws and make planning easier. When Uncle Sam finally gives this wedding present, same-sex couples will no doubt send a most heartfelt thank-you.

State Laws Vary for Same-Sex Couples

Marriage, Domestic Partnership and Civil Unions:
A handful of states have acknowledged the inequity of separate treatment, and have provided same-sex couples with the same rights, privileges and responsibilities of heterosexual couples on the state level. Five states – Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Vermont – and the District of Columbia permit same-sex couples to marry. Delaware, Hawaii, Illinois and New Jersey allow, or will in the next year, civil unions, which are equivalent to marriage except for the name.

Nevada, Oregon and Washington offer domestic partnerships with rights similar to those of marriage, while Maine’s and Wisconsin’s versions provide limited rights. Wisconsin’s Constitution was amended to ban any legal status that is substantially similar to marriage for same-sex couples.

California has the most complex state legislation. California allowed same-sex marriages for a few months in 2008. This ended when the state passed Proposition 8, which amended the constitution to ban future same-sex marriages but did not retroactively revoke those marriages entered into before its adoption. Therefore, California recognizes some marriages as marriages. It currently allows for a version of domestic partnerships between same-sex partners that is virtually marriage with a different name. These partnerships even come with community property rights, which automatically split ownership of certain property and income between the two partners.

Tax Status and Inter-State Recognition:
Generally, states that permit same-sex marriage or an equivalent recognize similar commitments from other states. Again, California is the most complicated, as it will only recognize marriages from other states entered into before Proposition 8 passed. Marriages performed after its adoption are recognized as having the same rights as marriages, but cannot be called marriages outright. Other legal relationships that are similar to California’s domestic partnership arrangement are also recognized.

California, Connecticut, the District of Columbia, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Jersey, Oregon and Vermont have also allowed same-sex partners to file joint income tax returns for 2010. In these states, same-sex couples can benefit from the wider tax brackets that married couples enjoy. However, this can be administratively burdensome, as the married filing status cannot currently be used on the federal return.

Nevada, New Hampshire and Washington do not have individual income taxes. The Delaware, Hawaii and Illinois civil union laws were not in effect for the 2010 tax year.

Maryland, New York and Rhode Island recognize same-sex marriages performed in other states, even though they do not permit them. However, none of these states permits same-sex couples to file joint tax returns.

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Many people are looking for a good way to burn calories. When it comes to burning calories, most prefer to exercise or workout in a gym. That would definitely help anyone out in burning those unwanted fats. But for people who want to burn calories fast, jogging isn’t going to cut it right away. People often criticize about the idea of sex as an exercise, but sex is actually a good way to burn those calories. Yes, you read it right. Training in gym with exercise tools can help you gain a fit body but sex can bring more benefits than going to the gym. Knowledge dictates that sex burns 100 calories per half hour. That’s a lot more times than jogging.

Sex, in its own way, can be safe or dangerous. People who have no idea about contraceptives and jump right into sex will have a high chance of getting pregnant. So if you are thinking of sex as a regular exercise regimen, please use caution and make sure it is safe to do so.

As mentioned before, sex has a potential to burn a lot of calories in a short amount of time. Not only does it use almost all the muscle of the human body to reduce fats, but it also has other health benefits as well. Here are 5 reasons why sex is the best exercise routine.

1. It promotes heart health. Sex does not only reduce one’s calories but it is also good for the heart. Earning intimacy accomplishes that and a lot more. That means not only are you getting emotional benefits, but physically too. Sex 3 times a week may reduce the risk of stroke and heart attack. That’s like hitting two birds with one stone.

2. It develops and strengthens the immune system. Sex helps a person’s immune system get stronger. Sex once a week will increase immunoglobulin A by 30 percent. Immunoglobulin A is an antibody that helps your body ward off viruses and diseases. That means a free flu shot by having sex to avoid that hurtful needle.

3. It can help relieve pain and stress. Studies show that sex reduces all kinds of pain. During intercourse, the body produces endorphins that helps get rid of discomfort. If you or your partner are hurting, sex is a good way to get rid of those headaches and feeling pleasure in one package.

4. It helps prevent cancer. Women who do not have sex have three times the risk than those having regular sex to acquire breast cancer. In other words, sex also helps enforce cancer immunity.

5. It aids in making you look ten years younger. According to several studies made, sex indeed makes you bloom and look younger than your real age. Sex can help you get rid of those wrinkles without those anti-wrinkles cream. It can also give a great aura the following morning after a great night with your partner.

Sex makes a great exercise because of these great benefits that some exercises do not really bring. So if you do not have the patience to go to gym and follow strict exercise and food diet, you can choose to make your body healthy by a more fun method that is sex.

Danny loves writing about bosu ball exercises [http://www.bosuballexcerises.com/] at his blog and also writes about general fitness and can provide content for your blog. When not writing about exercises, Danny loves to create new bosu ball [http://www.bosuballexcerises.com/4-bosu-ball-workouts/] routines and share them with his readers.

Sex, the most intimate, layered, and loaded of topics. Few subjects are more personal or individual. Sexuality is a complex composite of culture, gender, beliefs inherited from our families, life experiences, biology, etc. It is as unique to an individual as their finger prints. And so it follows that exposing your sexual fears and desires can feel incredibly vulnerable. As terrifying as this process might be, however, learning to communicate openly, respectfully, and continuously about sex can improve your sex life ten-fold, deepen your relationship with your partner and yourself, help you to feel more comfortable in and loving towards your own body, and enhance your appreciation and understanding of your own sexuality. Let’s look at how you can facilitate a healthy, mutually-beneficial dialogue about sex with your partner.

Know what you bring to the table…

1. What does sex mean for you? Consider who you are as a sexual being. What emotions does the idea of discussing your sexual desires bring up for you? Fear? Excitement? Shame? Let your feelings arise without judgment. Think back on your past sexual experiences. How did you feel about yourself? Are there aspects of these experiences you would like to create with your current partner? What helps you to feel safe and relaxed with a sexual partner? How important is sex to you? Is sex more of an emotional act or a physical act for you? The idea here is to begin to explore and embrace your sexuality from a place of allowance.

1. Where are your boundaries? Most people have at least a few sexual frontiers they would rather not explore. Be candid with yourself about what makes you uncomfortable and be willing to assert those boundaries with your partner.

1. What does your ideal sex life look like? You are far more likely to get what you want when you ask for it. Spend some time thinking about what your ideal sex life might look like. How often would you like to have sex? How important to you is emotional intimacy, foreplay, variety, monogamy?

Set the stage…

1. Pick a stress-free time in a private place. Creating a relaxed, secure environment is essential when discussing a subject as sacred and personal as sexuality. Schedule a time when you will not be rushed or interrupted. Choose a secluded venue which allows you to speak freely.

1. Check-in with one another. Take a moment to check-in with where you are both at emotionally. Knowing that one or both of you are entering into the conversation tired, distracted, anxious, etc. can help to mitigate the impact of those preexisting states. You may also want to check-out before ending the conversation.

1. Establish some guidelines for communication. What do each of you need in order for this conversation to feel safe, loving, and inviting? Discuss confidentiality explicitly. If you are not comfortable having the details of your discussion shared with friends or loved ones, make that clear from the outset. Bringing an overall attitude of goodwill is paramount to the success of any dialogue about sex. Some general rules which help foster goodwill might be; no blaming or degrading language, describe what you would like but don’t demand it, and both participants have the right to end the conversation (with an agreed upon time to resume it) at any time.

Cultivate effective communication…

1. Employ respect and kindness. Use “I” statements. This does not mean, “I feel like you are a jerk”. It means taking ownership of your own emotional experience, not attributing it to your partner’s actions. For example, “I notice that sex often brings up feelings of insecurity for me” is different than, “you always make me feel insecure during sex”. Practice emotional responsibility, it will keep your partner off the defense and allow you to be confident in your integrity. Be aware of your emotions and conscientious of how your partner is feeling. Express your fears and concerns. Respect each other’s boundaries.

1. Talk as a team. Approach this discussion as a collaborative effort not a conflict in which you are on opposing sides. You both have the same goal. Work together, as a unified force, to accomplish your shared goal.

1. Avoid communication missteps. Denying/avoiding, intellectualizing, minimizing, defending/justifying, deflecting, catastrophizing/dramatizing, assuming, dredging up the past, threatening, attacking, discounting, interrupting, generalizing, preaching, and feigning agreement. These are only a few of the ways in which people fail to hear and acknowledge the feelings of others. Give some thought to which of these you are most guilty and begin to be more conscious of how that affects your relationships.

Move from talk to touch…

1. Take it to the bedroom. Once you have come to an agreement about some elements you would like to change, experiment with, or add to your sexual repertoire, move the discussion to the bedroom. Add a sensate component to your conversation. Explore how you each like to be touched, talked to, seen. This is a trust building exercise so be gentle with each other.

1. Keep it light. Too much pressure can take the sexy right out of a situation. Let this be a fun, light adventure into exploring and discovering things about your partner. Laugh at yourselves, be playful, and enjoy the intimacy of being safe while vulnerable together.

Maintain your gains…

1. Make time for sex. That doesn’t mean every Wednesday at 5:45. Scheduling time for sex and intimacy can feel sterile and overly structured, but forgetting to make sex a priority altogether can be even more detrimental. Make time for sex, and even more importantly, for connecting with your partner, just as you make time for exercise, regular meals, and sleep. Sexual intimacy is a vital part of a satisfying relationship.

1. One question a week. Make sex an ongoing topic of discussion. Now that the lines of communication are open, keep them that way! One way to keep sex out from under the rug is to integrate a weekly sex question into your discussions. Here are a few examples:

• How does your mood impact our sex life, your desire for sex, etc.?
• What are you embarrassed to ask for during sex?
• What is the most important part of sex for you?
• What is your favorite part of my body? Of your body?
• Are there any sexual fantasies you would enjoy playing out together?
• How can I show you that I am interested in sex?

Creating a space where you are free to express your sexuality openly and without judgment is a very healing and liberating experience. Being ridiculed or shamed, however, can be scarring. As the old adage instructs, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Showing kindness, respect, and reverence for your partner’s sexuality creates the fertile soil in which a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship can grow.

ALEXIS WALTERS is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Los Gatos, CA. She has over a decade of experience working with adults and adolescents, covering a broad range of psychotherapeutic issues. Embrace change. Find empowerment. Call to schedule a session today.

For more information, visit her website at http://alexiswalters.com/

Copyright 2010 ALEXIS WALTERS, LMFT – All Rights Reserved

You are about to discover how to quickly and easily improve your woman’s sex drive.

You must read this article if one or more of the following apply to you:

– Your woman rarely wants sex.

– Your woman’s sex drive has steadily declined over a period of time (be it weeks, months or years).

– You are single, BUT you have experienced relationships in the past where your girlfriend, fiancée or wife at the time either never wanted sex or rarely wanted to have sex with you.

– You have to ask or beg your woman for sex.

Oftentimes, when a woman’s sex drive decreases the following excuses are used by herself, her man, her friends and perhaps even her doctor:

– Age. The thinking here is that as a woman gets older her sex drive has to decrease

– Relationship status. The idea here is that when a woman has been with a certain man for a period of time (be it 6 months, 2 years or 10 years), her sex drive will naturally decrease

Let me tell you that the above two excuses that people use all the time are completely lame!

Now let me tell you why I say that…

The real secret as to why a woman’s sex drive decreases is because the sex she is getting from her man is not good enough.

You may think this is harsh and unfair but if you want to improve your woman’s sex drive, you must read on.

You see, most men give their woman really bad sex. Let me give you a few statistics that highlight this point:

– 30% of women have never had a orgasm – not a single one

– 70% of women have never had a vaginal orgasm

Now consider the fact that vaginal orgasms are way more powerful, intense and pleasurable for a woman than clitoral orgasms (the kind that most women rely on) and you can see that most men are not really giving their woman anything like the kind of sexual satisfaction in the bedroom that she wants, needs and craves.

Now add to all that the fact that women also have the potential to experience squirting orgasms, anal orgasms and even orgasms with no touching whatsoever (YES, really) and you will see that the majority of men are ‘really not doing it for their woman’ in the bedroom.

Now here’s the thing – I’m going to give you 3 things that you must start doing right away and when you do them, you will rapidly increase your woman’s sex drive.

Trust me when I say this – 99% of men don’t do what I’m about to share with you. So make sure you do these things and you will make your woman want more sex than ever before.

Here we go…

3 Ways To Improve Your Woman’s Sex Drive

1. Lead Your Woman In The Bedroom

As far as sex goes – your woman wants you to take control. So be a man and lead her through each and every sexual adventure you share with her.

Do not ever ask for sex.

Instead, be a real man and instigate it.

2. Talk Dirty

For a woman – sex is a very mental thing.

Therefore, you must stimulate her mind. In the bedroom, you do this by using your voice and TALKING DIRTY.

This is the most powerful technique a man can use in the bedroom. Be believable and speak clearly, deeply and with authority.

You will be amazed at how much your woman loves this.

3. Do Something Different Every Time You Have Sex With Your Woman

Many women get bored of the sex.

And one major reason why they get bored is because their man makes it boring by doing the same things over and over again.

The solution is simple (yet most men fail to see it). The solution and a great way to improve your woman’s sex drive, is to make the sex different every time.

Start using these three ideas tonight and you will be amazed at how much more sex your woman wants to have with you.

You’ll also be amazed at how much more pleasure you give her and how many orgasms she starts to have.

To discover more SEXUAL SECRETS that most men will never know, including other ways to increase your woman’s sex drive and give her orgasms that totally blow her mind – sign up for my FREE newsletter and I’ll send you regular sex tips and advice.

Go to my website [http://www.outrageous-orgasms.com] and simply enter your first name and email address.

When you sign up for my newsletter I’ll also send you a FREE copy of my 18 Page PDF Report on:

“The 7 Deadly Mistakes That Men Make In The Bedroom And How To Avoid Them”

This is essential reading if you want to become a better lover and make your woman totally addicted to having sex with you EVERY DAY. Go sign up right now and I’ll talk to you on the other side:

www.Outrageous-Orgasms.com [http://www.outrageous-orgasms.com]